From PCOS to PMOS and the Women Who Were Told to “Just Lose Weight”

For years, women with PCOS have been trying to explain that this condition was never “just a few cysts.”

It affected our hormones.

Our metabolism.

Our fertility.

Our skin.

Our weight.

Our mental health.

Our energy.

Our self-esteem.

Our relationship with food.

Our relationship with our own bodies.

And yet for many women, especially those of us who live in places like the Caribbean where healthcare systems are already stretched and women’s pain is often minimised, the condition was repeatedly reduced to simplistic advice: “Just lose weight.”

As though weight gain was the cause rather than one of the symptoms.

Now, with growing discussion around renaming PCOS to PMOS (Polyendocrine Metabolic Ovarian Syndrome) many women are feeling something complicated: validation. Not because a new name magically fixes the condition, but because the shift acknowledges something we have been saying for years… this disorder affects far more than the ovaries.

The Name “PCOS” Never Fully Explained the Reality

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome was always a frustrating name in some ways.

For starters, many women with PCOS/PMOS do not even have ovarian cysts in the way people commonly imagine. Others struggle primarily with insulin resistance, inflammation, hormonal imbalance, fatigue, weight fluctuations or irregular cycles long before cysts become the main issue.

The name often caused care providers, including medical professionals, to focus narrowly on fertility or reproductive symptoms while missing the broader metabolic and systemic effects happening throughout the body.

And for women actually living with the condition, that disconnect could become exhausting.

You could be struggling with rapid unexplained weight gain, intense fatigue, acne, facial hair growth, hair thinning, insulin resistance, anxiety, depression, irregular periods, difficulty conceiving… and still leave appointments feeling as though nobody fully understood the complexity of what was happening inside your body.

I cannot tell you how many appointments with various doctors I have been to where  I was treated as though my symptoms were all in my head.

Many Women Spent Years In Diagnostic Limbo

Many women spent years being told they had “bad hormones,” irregular cycles or weight problems without anyone fully connecting the dots. Some were treated symptom by symptom while the larger endocrine and metabolic picture remained completely unaddressed.

I know for me personally, I was told when I was younger that I had a very, very, very bad hormonal imbalance and then largely left to figure out how to navigate that reality on my own. I did not hear the term PCOS until my late 30s. Like many women with hormonal disorders, I slowly became the medical detective for my own body,  responsible for researching, tracking and trying to understand my body because so few clear answers were being offered to me. And I KNOW that experience was not unique to me.

Many women spent years trying to understand bodies that never seemed to respond the way other people’s bodies did. Years hearing vague explanations without real answers about what any of it actually meant. By the time some women finally receive proper language or diagnosis for what they are experiencing, they have already spent decades blaming themselves for symptoms they never fully understood.

Women Were Often Made to Feel Like They Were Failing

One of the hardest parts of living with PCOS for many women has not only been the symptoms themselves. It has been the shame.

There is something emotionally brutal about living in a body that often does not respond “normally” to effort while society continues insisting the problem is discipline. Women with PCOS/PMOS are frequently told eat less, exercise more, try harder, be more disciplined and stop being lazy. Meanwhile many are battling insulin resistance, hormonal dysregulation, chronic inflammation and metabolic dysfunction that make weight loss and energy regulation far more complicated than people realise. And because the condition is still poorly understood socially, many women spend years blaming themselves for symptoms they do not fully understand.

Some stop eating properly. Others overexercise. Some develop disordered relationships with food. Others withdraw socially because they no longer feel comfortable in their bodies. Some become exhausted trying to force their body into responding the way everybody insists it should. And many do all of this while still functioning daily: working, caregiving, studying, surviving.

The Exhaustion People Do Not Fully Understand

One of the symptoms people often underestimate most with PCOS/PMOS is the exhaustion. Not ordinary tiredness. A deeper kind of exhaustion. Heavy. Foggy. Inflamed. The kind that makes simple things feel harder than they should. Some women become so accustomed to functioning exhausted that they stop recognising exhaustion as a symptom at all. And because women are often expected to continue performing normally regardless of what they are experiencing physically, many become experts at masking it.

They still go to work, care for children, show up for people and smile through conversations. Meanwhile their body feels like it is constantly fighting itself underneath the surface. That kind of long-term exhaustion affects far more than energy levels. It slowly shapes mood, motivation, confidence, relationships and mental health too.

Caribbean Women Often Carry an Extra Layer of Silence

In the Caribbean, conversations around women’s hormonal and reproductive health are still often handled quietly or dismissively.

Many women grow up hearing:

“Yuh period is not ah sickness”

“Yuh just need to lose some weight.”

“Daiz just hormones. Drink some bush tea.”

“Women does have children every day.”

There is often pressure to minimise discomfort and continue functioning regardless of what is happening physically or emotionally. And because body image, femininity and fertility are so deeply tied to cultural expectations of womanhood, conditions like PCOS/PMOS can affect women psychologically in ways many people underestimate.

For some women, facial hair growth becomes deeply distressing. For others, infertility becomes emotionally devastating. And for some, the weight struggles become humiliating because society treats larger women as though they simply lack discipline or self-control.

Navigating conditions like PCOS/PMOS in the Caribbean also comes with realities many people outside the region may not fully understand. Women are often told to “eat healthier” or “just lose weight” without much acknowledgement of food costs, work schedules, chronic stress, cultural eating patterns or how difficult it can be to manage metabolic disorders while simply trying to survive everyday life. Wellness advice is often given without context, and many women are left feeling as though they are failing at something that was never simple to begin with.

Meanwhile, many women are carrying all of this privately while still trying to appear “fine.”

The Grief Nobody Talks About

There is also grief attached to conditions like PCOS/PMOS that many women struggle to explain out loud. Grief for the body you thought you would have. Grief for the ease you imagined life would carry. Grief for experiences that may become complicated, delayed or uncertain. Grief for the years spent fighting yourself instead of understanding what was happening to you.

Some women grieve fertility struggles. Others grieve the loss of confidence, energy or trust in their own body. Some grieve how much of their life became shaped by exhaustion, inflammation, weight struggles, pain or shame.

There is also grief in watching your body change in ways you cannot fully control or explain. The mirror becomes complicated. Clothes become emotional. Weight gain stops feeling cosmetic and starts affecting identity, confidence and self-worth.

And because so much of this condition is invisible, many women carry that grief silently while continuing to function normally on the outside.

People often underestimate how psychologically consuming hormonal and metabolic disorders can become over time. Living in a body that feels unpredictable can slowly affect self-esteem, identity, relationships, intimacy, motivation and mental health in ways that reach far beyond physical symptoms alone.

And if I am honest, I think many women carry quiet anger too. Anger at how long it took to be heard. Anger at how much shame they carried unnecessarily. Anger at how many years were spent blaming themselves for symptoms that were never simply about laziness or lack of discipline.

PMOS Signals Something Bigger Than A Name Change

When the conversation about renaming this condition began — from PCOS to PMOS — many women didn't just nod along. They exhaled. Not because a name change fixes anything but because the shift finally acknowledges what we have been saying all along. It shifts attention toward the metabolic nature of the condition rather than focusing narrowly on ovaries alone.

That distinction matters. Because metabolic disorders affect blood sugar regulation, insulin function, inflammation, cardiovascular health, energy systems and long-term disease risk. Many women with PCOS/PMOS have spent years trying to explain that this condition affects their entire body, not just their reproductive organs.

A broader medical framing could potentially encourage more serious research, earlier diagnosis, better treatment approaches, more holistic care, and improved public understanding.

At least, that is the hope.

Because right now, many women still spend years being dismissed, misdiagnosed or inadequately supported.

I Hope Younger Women Have It Easier Than We Did

One of the strange things about getting older is realising how many women silently struggled before language, awareness or proper support existed.

Many women with PCOS grew up believing that they were lazy, weak, indisciplined, unattractive or failing. Some spent decades trying to “fix” themselves before understanding they were dealing with a complex hormonal and metabolic condition.

And honestly, I hope the younger generation of women does not have to fight quite so hard to be believed.

I hope doctors become more informed.

I hope that treatment options improve.

I hope that women are diagnosed earlier.

I hope the healthcare system stops treating women’s pain as exaggeration.

I hope girls grow up understanding that struggling with their body does not automatically mean they are broken or lacking discipline.

And I hope the medical community continues pushing beyond simplistic approaches toward genuinely understanding the complexity of conditions that disproportionately affect women, because women deserve more than survival advice disguised as treatment.

This Conversation Is Also About How Medicine Treats Women

At its core, the discussion around PCOS and PMOS is not only about a name change.

It is also about recognition.

Recognition that women’s health conditions are often under-researched, that metabolic and hormonal disorders affect our quality of life profoundly, that women deserve to have our symptoms taken seriously before they become severe and that healthcare should involve more than telling exhausted women to “try harder.”

For some women, the condition is only taken seriously once fertility becomes part of the conversation, as though years of exhaustion, metabolic dysfunction, pain, weight struggles and emotional distress mattered less before reproduction entered the picture. That reality alone says a great deal about how women’s health issues are often prioritised and understood.

A new name alone will not solve the problem.

But perhaps it can open the door to deeper understanding, better research and more compassionate care for the women still struggling to be heard.

Whisper to Your Heart

Living in a body that struggles does not make you weak, lazy or less worthy of care.

Exhaustion, pain and hormonal imbalance can quietly shape a person’s entire relationship with themselves. Many women have spent years learning how to survive discomfort while pretending they were fine. You deserve support, compassion and grace too, not just strength.

— Nadia Renata | Audacious Evolution

Affirmation of the Day

I release shame around the struggles my body carries.

My health challenges do not define my worth, femininity or strength.

I deserve understanding, support and compassionate care.

If you’d like to sit with this a little longer, you can find more affirmations like this in my YouTube playlist; a quiet space to return to whenever you need grounding.

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