Man Up at Work? Nah. Show Up as You Are: Healthy Masculinity in the Workplace
- Nadia Renata
- 4 hours ago
- 4 min read
The First Step Series: Your Guide to First Job Success – Day 2
You got the job - now the pressure kicks in.
You might feel like you have to act tough. Speak less. Keep your emotions in check. Prove yourself. Provide. Perform. Stay silent even when something feels off.
That’s the script many boys are handed from early. But here’s the truth no one says loud enough: You don’t have to “man up” to be respected. You just have to show up, as yourself.
Redefining Strength at Work
For too long, strength has been defined as silence, control or aggression. In some workplaces, especially male-dominated ones, there’s an unspoken expectation to suppress emotion and “power through.”
But real strength is:
Staying calm when things get tense
Listening when someone else is speaking
Owning your mistakes and learning from them
Choosing kindness even when others don’t
Speaking up respectfully when something’s not right
Strength isn’t loud. It’s grounded. The ones who lead well are the ones who think clearly, treat others fairly and carry themselves with quiet confidence.
Let Go of the Performance Mask
You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not to earn your place. If you’re:
Quiet and observant - great, use that to learn fast.
Thoughtful and reflective - bring fresh insight.
Nervous but trying - that’s courage in action.
Too often, young men are told to “fake it,” to show no doubt, to be the tough guy. But those masks get heavy and they stop you from forming real connections, asking for help or even enjoying your job.
The workplace doesn’t need another performative alpha. It needs men who are honest, aware and willing to grow.
Don’t Confuse Respect with Fear
There’s a difference between being respected and being feared.
Some men try to dominate others in the workplace to gain status. They belittle others, avoid feedback or act like they know everything.
That’s not leadership. That’s insecurity in disguise.
Respect comes when:
You treat everyone with basic decency, from the cleaner to the CEO
You follow through on your word
You own your actions
You lift others up, not put them down
Leadership starts the moment you decide to show up fully, not forcefully.
Emotional Intelligence = Workplace Superpower
Emotional intelligence isn’t soft. It’s smart.
Here’s what it looks like in action:
You notice when a co-worker’s off and quietly check in
You give constructive feedback without attacking
You take a deep breath before responding when someone annoys you
You recognise when you are the one bringing the attitude and reset
This is what separates good employees from great ones and sets you up to become someone others trust.
Reflection Prompts for Growth
Take five quiet minutes to think about the following. Or jot them down and come back to them later.
What did I learn about being a man growing up that might not serve me in the workplace?
Do I feel like I need to prove something in this job and if so, to whom?
What kind of man do I want to be known as in this space?
How do I respond when I feel uncertain, embarrassed or challenged?
What would it feel like to lead without pretending?
You don’t have to have all the answers. But asking better questions is a powerful place to start.
Your Real Power Starts Here
You don’t need to “tough it out” or carry the world on your shoulders to earn respect. You don’t need to pretend to know everything or act like nothing bothers you.
The best men to work with and grow into, are those who show up with heart, with presence and with integrity. Not performative power. Just truth.
Man up? Nah. Just show up - and be real. That’s more than enough.
Affirmation: “I don’t have to perform strength; I live it by showing up as my true self, with integrity, curiosity and courage.”
Want to take this deeper? Download The Real Strength Check-In - a free guided worksheet to help you reflect on your values, redefine strength and grow into the man you want to be.
Click here to download the reflection worksheet:
Want more tools like this? Stay tuned for the First Step Toolkit at the end of the series.
This article is part of The First Step Series: Your Guide to First Job Success - a collection created to support young people entering the world of work for the first time.
Stay tuned for more articles, tools and affirmations to help you navigate your first job with confidence and purpose.
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