50 Hilarious Reasons Why Women Should Definitely Not Get Married

As a single woman I am constantly told about how AMAZING marriage is and hounded about when am I getting married? Something about time running out. But staying single to me, is the better and far more funner (Yes I know that is not good English) option.

If you need a good laugh—or an excuse to dodge the whole "happily ever after" scene—here are 50 entertaining reasons why not getting married might just be the best decision for you.

1. Because You Can Eat an Entire Pizza or Cake Without Judgment – No one's keeping tabs on your third slice… or eighth.

2. Because Nobody’s Stealing Your Side of the Bed – The whole bed is yours. ALL of it. Seriously, some mornings I even wake up sideways!

3. Because No One’s Sneaking Bites of Your Ice Cream – It’s the law: what’s yours is actually yours.

4. You Get Full Control of the TV Remote – Goodbye, stupid, crappy bro movies. Hello, drama!

5. You Can Decorate Your House Without ‘Compromise’ – Pink velvet couch? Sparkly, tasseled curtains! Macramé everywhere? Or if you are like me, plants where ever there is a space to put one! Do what you want, queen!

6. Because No One Can Make You Watch Sports – If you want to spend Sundays bingeing shows, you’re free to do so. Unless you brother comes over.....then it's a dog fight...

7. Because You Don’t Have to Share the Last Slice of Chocolate Cake – Do you really want to give that up? I can't say for you but... Buddy... I will cut you!

8. No One’s There to Steal Your Favorite Hoodie – It stays exactly where you left it—untouched, unclaimed and unstained.

9. Because ‘Why Are There Wet Towels on the Bed?’ Is Never a Problem – You don’t have to deal with the towel chaos.

10. You Can Wear the Same Sweatpants Three Days in a Row Without Anyone Caring – Or anything else for that matter......Who’s there to judge? Nobody.

11. Because You Can Be As Weird As You Want – Break out those interpretive dance moves, girl. The living room is yours. My reputation with my friends for having private, living room dance parties is legendary!

12. You Don’t Have to Fake Laugh at Bad Jokes – No one forcing you to “ha-ha” at dad humour 24/7.

13. You Can Keep the Thermostat Wherever You Want – Cold? Crank the heat. Hot? Blast the AC. No compromises.

14. You Don’t Have to Cook For Two – Fancy a cereal dinner? Go for it. No one’s here to ask, “What’s for dinner?” I had gluten free, chocolate cake with spiced chai last night in case you are wondering....

15. You Never Have to Share the Bathroom – Toothpaste all over the sink? Nope. It’s as pristine as you like it.

16. You Can Buy Ridiculous Things Without Explaining Yourself – $200 for a foot massager shaped like a unicorn? Totally justified. Totally.

17. No Awkward In-Law Dinners – You’re off the hook for family drama with people you barely know. Seriously, how do you guys do this? I feel to break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it!

18. You Don’t Have to Listen to Snoring – Sweet, uninterrupted sleep—no earplugs necessary.

19. Because No One Will Ever Ask, ‘What’s Wrong?’ When You’re Just Sitting Quietly – You can just be.

20. Because Netflix Suggestions Will Stay Relevant – No more “because you watched Sharknado” recommendations.

21. You Don’t Have to Share Your Blanket – No more tug-of-war over the covers at 2 a.m.

22. Because Your Laundry Hamper Won’t Magically Overflow Every Day – It’s your clothes and only your clothes in there.

23. You Can Travel Wherever You Want – Solo trips to Bali? Yes, please. No negotiations required.

24. Because No One Can Criticize Your Driving – You don’t need a backseat driver second-guessing your every turn. Bonus points, no one messes with your music settings. Bonus, bonus points... you can sing as loudly as you like, while eating your favourite snacks! Party on wheels! Let's go!!!!!!

25. You Don’t Have to Pretend to Care About Fantasy Football – And no need to feign interest in any fantasy leagues. Seriously....NONE.

26. You Get to Keep All the Closet Space – All the shoes, all the handbags, and no complaints about “another pair?” I LOVE IT! MINE ALL MINE!

27. Because You Don’t Have to Consult Anyone About Big Decisions – Want a pet llama? It’s your life. Live it how you want!

28. Because Mornings Are Actually Peaceful – No rush to make coffee for two. Just you and your quiet morning bliss.

29. You Can Have Solo Dance Parties Without an Audience – No one’s going to witness your embarrassing ‘80s moves. Well, except my furry babies, but they know I am crazy and love me anyway!

30. No One Can Judge Your Cooking Skills – If your lasagna turns out like a crime scene, it’s your little secret.

31. Because You Never Have to Argue About Who Forgot to Buy Milk – You drink the last drop? Cool. No passive-aggressive notes.

32. You Can Keep Strange Collectibles Without Explanation – A shelf full of rubber ducks? Go wild.

33. Because Nobody’s Going to Touch Your Fancy Skincare Products – The $200 face cream stays untouched by anyone but you.

34. You Don’t Have to Hide in the Bathroom to Avoid Conversation – Sweet, sweet solitude. All day, every day.

35. No One’s Going to Complain About Your Singing in the Shower – In there, Whitney Houston ain't got nothing on you and no one can tell you otherwise.

36. Because You Can Use the Last Bit of Hot Water Without Guilt – It’s all yours. Scalding showers every time.

37. You Never Have to Fake Being Interested in Fishing – Or hiking. Or any of the hobbies you definitely don’t care about. For real... None!

38. You Don’t Have to Worry About Someone Else’s Hair in the Drain – Your shower stays clean and clog-free.

39. You Can Spend Hours Browsing Target Without Hearing, ‘Are We Done Yet?’ – Girl, take your time in the home goods aisle or any other aisle you fancy! The world is your oyster!

40. Because You Can Adopt as Many Dogs/Cats or Any Other Pets as You Want Without Question – No limits, your own personal furry paradise.

41. No One’s Hogging the Wi-Fi – 4K streaming without buffering. Every. Single. Time. YAYYY!!

42. You Can Order Weird Food Without Judgement – Calamari and nachos at the same time? You do you.

43. No One’s Going to Rearrange the Pillows You Perfectly Arranged – Your throw pillows? Always in aesthetic harmony.

44. Because No One Will Say ‘Calm Down’ During a Freak Out – Newsflash: “calm down” never calms anyone down. Like ever.

45. You Don’t Have to Listen to Anyone’s Opinion About Your Shopping Habits – Bought another plant or ten? Treat yourself! Go Wild!

46. Because You Can Leave Shoes All Over the House Without a Word – No one’s around to complain that it looks like a shoe store exploded. Seriously enough with the shoe judgement already! Hi, I am Nadia and I love shoes....get over it!

47. You Can Take 30-Minute Baths Whenever You Want – No knocking on the door asking, “How much longer?” I will stay as long as I want, thank you very much!

48. You Can Have Breakfast for Dinner Without Question – French Toast at 7 p.m.? Yes! Yes! Forever yes!

49. Because Nobody’s Going to Borrow Your Stuff and Never Return It – Your phone charger will stay exactly where you left it.

50. Because Freedom Is Delicious – Like chocolate cake eaten in bed while watching vampire movies. No compromises, just pure bliss.

In a world full of unsolicited marriage advice, I am here to remind you that staying single really isn’t so bad. From full control over the thermostat to guilt-free solo pizza nights, there's plenty of joy in living life on your own terms.

And if anyone asks why you're still single? Just tell them, “I like my side of the bed... all of it.”

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