Friendly Skills: Making and Keeping Friends in Primary School
- Nadia Renata
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
The First Steps Series: Your Guide to Primary School Transition Success - Day 5
The first weeks of primary school are full of new faces, games and routines, and for some children, that can feel like stepping into a whole new world. Your child may watch from the sidelines, unsure how to join in or hesitate to share their favourite toy for fear of being rejected. These everyday social moments, simple choices, small gestures, quiet invitations, are where friendships begin and where your guidance can turn uncertainty into confidence.
Why Friendships Matter
Learning to make and keep friends isn’t just about having playmates; it’s a foundational life skill that shapes how children understand themselves, others and the world around them. Making friends help children:
Navigate social situations with ease and confidence – When children practice saying hello, joining a game or asking to share a toy, they’re learning the subtle cues of social interaction: how to approach someone, how to read body language and how to respond appropriately. Each small step gives them confidence to try new interactions and reduces hesitation in unfamiliar settings.
Develop empathy, sharing and cooperation skills – Friendships teach children to notice the feelings of others. Taking turns, listening when a friend speaks or helping someone in need helps them understand perspectives outside their own. Over time, these repeated experiences of considering others’ needs cultivate compassion and the ability to work collaboratively.
Reduce anxiety by building a sense of belonging – Feeling connected to peers eases the natural stress of starting school. When a child successfully makes a friend or participates in a group activity, they learn that they have a place where they are valued. This sense of belonging decreases social anxiety and encourages them to engage more fully in the classroom and playground.
Strengthen resilience through positive social interactions – Friendships naturally involve challenges: a disagreement, waiting your turn or coping with a rejection. Navigating these small setbacks helps children develop emotional resilience. They learn that mistakes and misunderstandings are normal and that patience, persistence and thoughtful communication can restore relationships.
Even small successes, like inviting someone to play, sharing a favourite toy or helping a classmate, reinforce the idea that kindness, courage and initiative are what make connections meaningful. Over time, these micro-moments accumulate, teaching children that strong friendships are built step by step, through consistent effort, empathy and respect.
Practical Strategies to Support Friendship Skills
Helping children build friendships isn’t about making them “popular”; it’s about giving them tools to engage, connect and understand social cues. Each strategy below links directly to the skills and confidence we want children to develop.
Model Positive Interactions – Children learn by watching. When you demonstrate polite greetings, taking turns and asking questions, you’re showing them how social confidence looks in practice.
How it helps: Watching adults manage social situations calmly gives children a model for approaching peers with ease, reducing anxiety and increasing confidence. For example:
“I like how you said hello to your classmate. That was friendly and confident.”
Invite them to watch you model polite conversation with siblings or friends.
Set Small Social Goals – Encourage manageable, specific steps: introduce themselves to one new classmate, share a favourite toy or take turns during a game.
How it helps: Achieving these small, achievable goals reinforces a sense of belonging and teaches that success comes from consistent effort, not instant popularity. Each tiny success builds resilience for handling larger social challenges.
Use the “Friendship Tracker” (Download Below) – Let your child record one kind act each day, a new friend they made or a social goal for the week.
How it helps: By linking effort to measurable progress, children learn to notice personal growth and celebrate initiative. Tracking social interactions also strengthens reflection, empathy and understanding of cause and effect in relationships.
Reflect Together Daily – Take a few minutes in the evening to ask:
“Who did you play with today?”
“What did you do to help or share?”
“How did it feel when someone was kind to you?”
How it helps: Reflection consolidates learning, helps children process social experiences and develops emotional literacy. Recognizing their role in relationships fosters gratitude, empathy and resilience, helping them navigate setbacks more calmly.
Celebrate Effort and Initiative – Praise the courage it takes to say hello, join a game or offer help, not just the outcome.
How it helps: Children learn that meaningful friendships grow from effort, kindness and persistence, not just from being liked or winning games. This reinforces a growth mindset and encourages ongoing social exploration.
Growing Together Through Social Courage
Every interaction your child embraces, saying hello to a new classmate, sharing a favourite toy or taking turns in a game, is more than just a small social step. Each moment is a practice in courage, patience and self-confidence. By using tools like the Friendship Tracker, setting achievable social goals and reflecting together daily, children learn to recognize their own progress, understand the impact of kindness and develop empathy for others.
Celebrating effort and initiative, rather than just outcomes, teaches children that meaningful friendships grow through consistent, intentional actions. When they see that trying, reaching out and showing kindness brings connection and joy, they build a strong sense of belonging, strengthen resilience against setbacks and gain confidence to navigate new social situations.
As a parent, your guidance, calm encouragement and recognition of effort send a powerful message: social confidence is learned, practiced and celebrated together. By nurturing these small, everyday social victories, you help your child develop the skills, courage and empathy that will support healthy relationships long beyond the first weeks of school and cultivate a family rhythm of connection, reflection and growth.
Kid Affirmation:
“I can make friends and show kindness every day. Each small step helps me grow confident and connected.”
Parent Affirmation:
“I guide my child with patience and encouragement. I celebrate the friendships they build and the kindness they show.” – Nadia Renata | Audacious Evolution
Help Your Child Build Friendships with Confidence!
Give your child a simple, fun tool to practice kindness, try new social steps and reflect on their progress. Download the “Friendship Tracker” and turn everyday interactions into opportunities for growth, empathy and confidence.
Want more tools like this? Stay tuned for the First Step Toolkit at the end of the series.
This article is part of The First Step Series: Your Guide to Primary School Transition Success - a collection created to support parents with young children, entering the world of Montessori School for the first time.
Stay tuned for more articles, tools and affirmations to help you navigate your child's first days of school with confidence and purpose.
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